Wednesday, January 04, 2006

A Bit Belatedly - My Resolutions

I resolve to take my time in 2006. I'm not talking about just slowing down, smelling the roses and seeking solace in peaceful silence.

I resolve to achieve an annoying level of slow. I've tried to be nice in the past and nobody's been considerate of me in return, so things are gonna change.

  • I will talk on my cell phone in the car, ignoring all others. I will cause people to miss lights while I drag under a yellow. I will bring traffic to a crawl as I babble about nothing.
  • I will take as much time as I want at the fast food drink fountains, filling my cup slowly with ice then slowly with a drink. And then I will take plenty of time selecting an affixing a plastic lid.
  • Ignoring the various opportunities to plan in advance--newspapers, phone, web--I will hover outside the theater box office deciding on the movie I want to see before purchasing a ticket while others wait.
  • Ditto cafeteria lines.
  • I'll be waddling in department stores and parking my buggy in front of the canned goods you want to browse at the super market.
I'll be adding to this list as the year progresses. It's no more Mr. Nice Guy.

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