Monday, June 05, 2006

Tech Mag Dodging

I feel like I'm on the run from the demographic police.

I get a few free tech magazines. If you touch anything like a computer mouse you qualify because it's circulation figures for industry professionals that matter to their advertisers. Your eyes on their ad = money.

The tradeoff is that every 45 minutes or so you have to be reevaluated in order to confirm your value to makers of network solutions.

"It'll only take a few minutes," the caller says. "Just a few questions. How many people in your office?At your location? At all of your company's locations? At your competitor's locations? At all of the companies in your industry? How many people live on planet Earth? Two comets leave a solar system. One is traveling at a speed of... Do you influence the purchase of comets at your lcation? At all of your company's locations? In this galaxy?"

I'm not alone in finding those moments annoying right?

I've started letting them roll to voice mail along with the sales calls. I even keep a quick link to area code listings on my desktop. If I'm fast I can check an area code and evaluate it for potential annoyance before voice mail picks up.

Sometimes if I don't take the call, they telephone our office secretary and try to get her to put me on.

They threaten to stop the subscriptions if you don't answer. But they don't. They never stop.

One day I suspect someone's going to show up on the doorstep.

"How many employees at this office? Your location? You entire company? Don't try to go out the back way. We have the exits covered. You cannot escape...this location...your company's location...really don't try."
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