A little noir on my wall

Christine and I spent a good bit of time browsing Cody's Books in San Francisco when we were there in the fall.

She secretly purchased a calendar for me, a compilation of mostly French film noir posters.

I suppose it's appropriate that many are French since they gave us the term film noir. I suppose it's also a great San Francisco gift. If San Francisco isn't the city film noir calls home, it's at least a renter there.

The Maltese Falcon, Dark Passage and a host of others are set in the city by the bay.

I put it up in my office at my day job. Adds an extra splash of color across the room from the Doctor Who poster.

Looks like for the month of January, a green Orson Wells as Harry Lime will be peering over my shoulder as I work, and The Big Sleep, Psycho (not sure I agree with that one as film noir), Little Caesar and I Love Trouble are coming in the months ahead.

Too bad my office isn't across the street from a building with a neon sign.

(My calendar, in case you want one, is officially the Black Cinema Noire calendar from Tushita.com.)

Birds and Mice and Frozen Goldfish Bowls

I acquired some of my favorite short story collections via TAB, The Teen-Age Book Club, when I was in junior high.

From TAB, a few quarters would purchase various young adult novels, comic strip compilations and other material deemed suitable to sell to kids in school. Every couple of months the teacher would send off an order and in due time a box would arrive with everyone's choices.

Though it wasn't branded horror, Stories of Suspense, (1963) edited by Mary E. MacEwen, had much to chill, tingle and tantilize the imagination. I didn't know it then but it packaged stories by some of the finest purveyors of literary thrills.

The lead story "The Birds" by Daphne duMaurier had already scared me as a Hitchcock movie by the time I read it, but the slim volume also included a host of other fabulous tales.

"Flowers for Algernon" by Daniel Keys - the short story that lead to the film Charly and a novel-length version. Though I later read the novel-length iteration, the shorter tale of Charlie Gordon is still the most poignant. The impact of Charlie's transition from mentally challenged to genius and back again is more concise and affecting in a few pages.

"Charles" by Shirley Jackson - a wry, clever entry by the brilliant mistress of the macabre, a juncture of her tales of the strange and her musings as a mother.

"Contents of a Dead Man's Pockets" by Jack Finney - one of two Finney tales in the collection. I didn't know who he was then. I was to discover The Body Snatchers later in a movie-tie-in edition with the Donald Sutherland version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I was also to discover "Contents" was included in my mom's literature book as "An Untitled Story." It's indeed a story of suspense, unbearable suspense as a man whose wife has gone to the movies attempts to retrieve important business notes from his apartment's ledge. Only to have the finicky window trap him outside. We join him in his thoughts, wondering if he can hold on through the cartoon, short subject and the feature and ultimately through a re-evaluation of priorities.

"The Perfectionist" by Margaret St. Clair (aka Idris Seabright) - a wonderfully chilling, in more ways than one, journey into the strange world of a young man and his off-beat aunt who dabbles in painting. When she switches from still-life to living subjects she discovers it's challenging to get the detail right on things that move. Dammit!

The volume also includes works by John Collier, Roald Dahl and Lord Dunsany and while other books have come and gone from my collection I've always held onto this one.

If you see it at a used book store grab it. If not, look for the individual stories if you haven't read them. They're fab tales all.

It Looks Like Up From Here

Well, having returned from my descent into the underworld, I suppose I've brought back two pieces of information for the new year.

1. Stomach flu kicks you in the ass worse than you remember, and this wasn't even the worse case I've ever had.

2. Living through a dark night reminds you how good good can feel.

(All right three pieces of information)

3. Caffeine withdrawal is a bitch.

I hovered one day on that threshold where you start thinking, you know if that good night was willing, going gentle into it wouldn't be so bad.

Thursday I was feeling a little better and bland food started to pick me up again, then the queen mother of headaches pierced my brain like a spear. (When you self-diagnose on the web, the stomach flu literature says whateever the f you do stay the hell away from caffeine! it is ithe devil's brew.)

"I haven't had coffee in three days, the withdrawl should be finished," I muttered to Christine.

"Yeah, right," she laughed. She doesn't have the best bedside manner.

I went through a period roughly like Clint Eastwood's fever dream experiences in Unforgiven or Conan's near death experience in the first movie (you know wrapped in a blanket with ghostly spirits looming all around, am I remembering that scene right or is that just what happened to me?).

Then I woke up feeling marginally stable Friday morning.

And wow, risking a half-cup of coffee was like a dose of elixir. I felt like a chorus of "Let the Sunshine In."

I think Charles in his earlier comment below was right, maybe it's good to start the year with a downer. It certainly makes clear what "up" looks like and that you often take feeling OK for granted.

For a while, I may remember that.

Surviving the Norwalk Virus With Steve McQueen

I seem to have contracted the Norwalk virus or some variation, not a fun way to begin the new year.

I think this is the first time I've had a serious stomach virus since about 1989, so I'd really forgotten the power drain.

Strangely though I can remember starting to emerge from the last one - I'd received a complimentary copy of Mystery Scene magazine, and when I was able I went out and sat in the sun and read an article about the Hardman mystery series.

This time around I've been keeping my sanity with movies. The Sand Pebbles with Steve McQueen's a really good film, I guess a roadshow picture in its day and an Oscar winner. At around three hours long it's perfect for viewing when you can't move much more than your thumb on the remote control.

Also watched Under Siege 2 for the first time although I'd always heard it was good. It is.

I'm not reading right now or writing much because I don't want to inadverdently give myself aversion therapy to my current projects.

Hopefully in another day or so I'll be better.

My Favorite Fictional Characters - The Guilty Pleasures List

Some of my friends have been posting lists of favorite fictional characters. I thought I'd mention a few of my favorites who are fun but at least guilty pleasures of a sort.

1. Vampirella - originally a black-and-white Warren comic magazine sensation but also the star of some great paperback novels by Ron Goulart. She's a sexy vampire from the planet Draculon. She battles Cthulhu like monsters and pre-dates most of today's paranormal fantasy by many years.

2. Schlock Homes - a goofy Sherlocks Holmes take off by Robert L. Fish and frequently featured once upon a time in the pages of Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine.

3. Remo Williams, The Destroyer - pulp paperback parody hero - light hearted and clever in the hands of the original authors.

4. Ed Noon - creation of the Michael Avalone, fastest typewriter in the East, maligned in the pages of Gun in Cheek, but loads of fun whether spying for the president or solving hardboiled mysteries including his first, The Tall Dolores.

5. Edge - Cowboy tales penned by a Brit and probably later a host of house authors, the Edge series is over the top, violent and his adventures are often impossible to put down. Think Clint Eastwood's Man with No Name as a comic book written in prose. Tougher than hard boiled, meaner than Mickey Spillane and sometimes featuring weird in jokes. In one adventure Edge encounters three Pinkerton agents named things like Lou Archer, Phil Marlowe and Samuel Spade or something like that.

Happy 2007

May it be a wonderful year!

Seven and Three are Oh My God!

Seems like a heartbeat ago I was reading Peter Straub's Shadowlands which has a section toward the end called: "The End of the Century is in Sight."

And when that book came out it seemed like the end of the 20th century was a loooong way off.

Weren't we just sweating out Y2K and all that?

And looking forward to new Star Wars Films?

And recounting votes in Florida?

Man, after we turn the calendar page tonight, we'll be three years from the end of the first decade of this century.

My head's swimming, and I haven't had a new year's drink yet.

Need some cowbell!

OK, clearly I need to provide some educational materials here. I'm telling you, fellas, you're gonna want that cowbell!

Memes to Me - "Please, stop the monkeys!"

Addendum 2016: Linda J. Alexander, biographer of Steve Ihnat, dropped by this post recently to note that even in 2006 my memory was fuzzy. It was frequent '60's TV guest star Ihnat who played the brainwashed race car driver in Hunter and shouted the "stop the monkeys" line. I stand corrected, as I did the time I mixed up the release years on It's A Wonderful Life.

I didn't realize one of my favorite obscure movie lines is pretty much a meme.

"Stop the monkeys!" is one of those cool phrases that seems to fit any situation where you want to cry out against the insanity.

Five projects get turned in at once, all with the same deadline?

"Stop the monkeys."

Bad things happen one after another?

"Please, stop the monkeys!"

Someone says "All your base belongs to us" again.

"Stop the monkeys."

They remake Superman The Movie and call it a new movie: Superman Returns!

"Stop the monkeys! Stop the monkeys."

Despite its multiplicity of uses, I didn't realize it was in as wide a use as "Needs more cowbell," but that would seem to be the case. It says so on Wikipedia, at least, in the entry on the TV movie from which it's taken. I discovered that fact the other day in my relentless quest to gain knowledge and reduce boredom.

The movie, which yeah, I saw as a kid and remember, would be Hunter starring the late character actor John Vernon as a brainwashed race car driver who's driven mad by the suggestion that he's being assailed by flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz.

So of course he says: "Please, stop the monkeys!"

I always found the flying monkeys roughly as terrifying as the Gargoyles from another CBS-TV Movie, so if I were being assailed by real or imaginary flying monkeys I'd want them to stop.

As we face the new year, it's always good to have a goal. Mine will be to help further perpetuate the use of phrase "Stop the monkeys" in 2007.

If you have a blog, please apply when appropriate, and by all means use it as a minced oath in polite company.

It's a little softer than some other John Vernon lines, such as the also frequently apopos but less socially acceptable: "Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining," from The Outlaw Josey Wales.

Total Immersion

I've spent some long stretches working on a chapter to back up that first line I posted a few days ago another nice part of being off from my day job a few days and generaly off my feet.

It's a first line I've modified a bit based on suggestions here, by the way.

Referring to Dean Koontz on writing again, in one of his writing texts he's adamant about devoting uninterrupted hours to writing. Find time on a weekend if not during the week, he urges, to spend uninterrupted stretches with your fiction.

Other than having cats jump on my laptop I've done that the last few days, and it kind of reminded me how effective immersion in the world of your fiction can be.

The four walls of the setting become real, the characters literally start to breathe and truly you're in a different place within yourself or your thoughts.

As a reporter I covered someone discussing painting from the left side of the brain or the right, I forget which one's which in the creative vs. pragmatic scenario. She talked about getting to that place.

I know scientifically the left-right brain notion isn't proven, but I do find something does happen in the creative process where everything really kicks in.

I may have mentioned in this blog before how much I came to live in the small town that is the setting of my novel When Darkness Falls. I knew the streets, the shadows, the shops and what it was like to drive through town on a foggy evening.

When the book was finished I hated to leave.

It's to reach that point in a new piece of writing. It's not magic, but it feels that way.

Keeping off my feet with Pirates of the Caribbean

I'm still staying off my feet as much as possible, having twisted my ankle on Christmas Eve eve. (Actually it was more of a karate chop by the metal border on a flower bed, but it really becomes a long story.)

For me, it's not so bad being immobile. Yesterday I devoted a good deal of time to re-watching the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.

Some of my online friends have been discussing plotting lately. The admirable job done on those films becomes apparent when they're watched in proximity, negative reviews aside.

They're fun, fast-paced films, visually stunning, but there are many nuances I didn't really expect to find in summer blockbusters where lowest-common-denominator usually goes.

A lot of the subtle material was probably lost on kids in the multiplexes, but it sure makes the DVDs worth owning.

Of course I got "Dead Man's Chest" from Netflix and taped "Curse of the Black Pearl" off ABC for my mini-marathon but when the three-pack including the final film comes out I'm there, dude.

What I Got for Christmas

Didn't ask for big things this year. I decided to wait on that Sony e-book reader to see if it really catches on so I didn't get any major electronics.

It's for the best. If I got one I'd have to buy e-books for it.

I did get an iPod AV cable because I never could make the trick with a camcorder AV cable work--you're supposed to be able to cross the yellow, red and white connectors but I always got a scrambled mess.

Cheap but thrilling - now I can watch the Aquaman pilot on my living room TV.

Apparently I will be reading Hannibal Rising, too. It was on a list of potential gift books I gave Christine a while back.

I was a little more excited by The Shadow of Frankenstein, a paperback, part of a new series of Universal film tie-ins. It pits Henry Frankenstein-told you it was based on the movies--against Jack the Ripper.

What Christine is Getting for Christmas - Wodehouse

Christine has become a fan of P.G. Wodehouse and so she'll be getting several nice editions of his works this Christmas. Those are mixed in with other gifts, marginally disguised to thwart her ability to guess each gift item.

That means she'll know they're books, that they're Wodehouse books, but not which titles. I don't even know that without checking the order form now that they're wrapped.

I bought enough to keep her in Wodehouse reading much of the year since they're hard to come by at bookstore or library, despite their popularity.

Getting around to Wodehouse
They're filled with clever language, humor and plots that are complex enough to satisfy mystery readers though they're concerned more with manners than mayhem. If you haven't heard, they feature, mostly, the misadventures of British playboy Bertie Wooster, the narrator, and his manservant Jeeves, prototype for the American popular conception of butlers and footmen, though no longer the servant on Ask.com. :-(

We'd always meant to get around to Wodehouse. Years ago, probably when they were new, we used to see listings for the British series video in the Signals catalog, long a source of sweatshirts and tees in our house.

Hugh Laurie played Bertie on British TV and since Christine is a House, M.D. fan that prompted us to locate the titles on Netflix.

And the books followed, prompting her to not only read some but to read them out loud to me. (A favorite line invovles Bertie musing that a grouchy Scottish pooch wandered off "muttering something in Gaelic under his breath.")

I never have to read anything Christine is interested in. She either reads it to me or summarizes so completely I can save the time of sitting down with the actual prose. She summed up a recent New York Times profile of Kristin Chenoweth so completely I didn't have to read it or watch any more episodes of Studio 60, thinly-veiled Kristin Chenoweth biography.

This time next year
This time next year I'll be able to act versed in the works of Wodehouse. I'll be able to rattle off oneliners.

I predict the Wodehouse investment is a good choice of stocking stuffer.

Why am I bothering to tell everyone all this? Well maybe it will help with last-minute giving for some who can find Wodehouse in stores.

And I have to stay off my left foot. Monty--aka the king, the senior household tomcat, butler of our cats you might say-- got into the back yard yesterday and regular readers of this blog will know that usually means I get hurt. (He sniffed in a flowerbed then headed for the woods which connect to a busy roadway. I hopped off a retaining wall to head him off and, well I have to stay off my left foot.)

I could use a Jeeves.

Christmas Reading

I guess this is another of my personal holiday traditions. I like to read, and listen to, Christmas-themed fiction at holiday time, but you can only enjoy A Christmas Carol so many times.

I enjoy various versions from Patrick Stewart's one-man show to Jack Palance's Western interpretation in Ebenezer, but variety is nice as well.

I have some new-to-me items handy for downtime this weekend, when we're not cooking or shopping. I hope we don't have to do much of the latter.

The Twelve Frights of Christmas is an old anthology edited by Isaac Asimov with titles from H.G. Wells and Robert Bloch among others. I'm looking forward to a few holiday chills from that. I've had it a while, guess you could say I've been saving it.

Doctor Who
I also have a holiday-themed Doctor Who audio title from Big Finish, at least I think it is set at Christmas time. Should be a nice listen anyway. It's called The Chimes of Midnight and drops the eighth doctor, the one from the U.S. TV movie, into a British mansion in 1906 where he's faced with a mystery or two to solve. (And of course Doctor Who The Christmas Invasion re-airs Christmas Day on Sci Fi. If you're in the UK of course you get an all new Who special.)

Hopefully I'll enjoy the book and CD I've chosen as much as some of my previous holiday reads such as A Carol in the Dark, a really nice mystery from longtime editor Cathleen Jordan and The Christmas Crimes at Puzzle Manor from Simon Brett.

The Brett novel is an excellent holiday read about murders and puzzles at a snow-bound mansion. There are real puzzles you can solve built in.

Here's hoping everyone has some great holiday fun.

First Lines

I'm honing a new opening line. It's turning out a little long, but I'm not sure that's bad.

I'm toying with a story based on an actual experience I had in Dublin . As I walked through a blustery afternoon storm, and old man came toward me, chuckling strangely and looking at me knowingly as if he held some secret. That's about the extent of the real experience so I have quite a bit to make up.

Not sure if the story is going anywhere but I'm toying with an outline and an opening page at least and here's how it starts:

"The old man in the snap-brim cap walked out of the wind, his arms dangling, useless and limp as he angled across the sidewalk on a collision course with Desiree."

Desiree won't be the main character's name. That's a place holder for the moment. Guess we'll see where this goes

Download worthy

Charles Gramlich is talking Hannibal Rising over at Razored Zen. He had to read it for an article he's writing on Thomas Harris. People have been discussing it a while over on the Shocklines Forums, having purchased it right away. I was so excited to read Hannibal that I bought it in hardcover as soon as it was available. Not so Hannibal Rising. Just can't get excited about a new Lecter story even though I could at least spring a credit for it at Audible today as my subscription kicks in on the 20th. Sometimes it seems a sequel diminishes the original, stellar work. On the other hand, though I didn't like Forever Odd quite as well as Odd Thomas, I had no hesitation in springing for the audio of Brother Odd for the iPod to see what happens next to Odd Thomas and the ghost of Elvis. (Anyone remember the Weird Al song where he cites a tabloid headline: "The ghost of Elvis is living in my den!"?) Deciding on how to spend one credit is easier than how to spend the second though. With one there's always the second, no problem. With the second, well, that's it. All you're gonna get for a month. Should I go for Michael Crichton's new one? Or the non-fiction account of Irael's response to the 1972 Olympic massacre, Striking Back, last week's No. 1 history download at Audible. Or should I go for the holiday-themed thriller Slay Ride by Chris Grabenstein? Yep, deciding what's download worthy can be a challenge.

Meanwhile under the tree

We brought Christmas presents home from Christine's mom's and put them under the tree.

Daisy, aka the good cat, immediately began to poke around them as if to say: "I'm looking to see if there's one with my name on it." At least that's the quote Christine attributed to her and she's usually pretty good at interpreting her thoughts.

Failing to find "Miss Daisy" on any "To" cards, our queen took up residence atop a present we believe to be a new tea kettle from Christine's mom.

If Christine were on Heroes, her super power would be the ability to ascertain a gift package's contents long before Christmas Day. And to interpret the thoughts of a slightly bossy female cat.

I'm not sure why Daisy is so interested in a tea kettle, but it seems to be where we'll find her from now until Christmas Day. It had a really nice bow, too.

Another tune on my Christmas playlist

Yesterday, Christine and I were in our grocer's dairy section when Gene Autry's "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" came on the in-store radio.

That took me back. The tune was already firmly a part of pop culture when I was kid, and the LP was one my dad always put on the stack. We had a Packard Bell stereo--the kind where the speakers were built into the cabinet that housed the turntable.

Shuffle play was achieved by placing a stack of vinyl albums on the turntable. When one finished another dropped down.

I snagged the cover art from the web, but the pic is of the album we had. It wore out long ago, probably from being stacked under other albums as they spun.

I don't know how old it was when I came along but I was dazzled by the pic of Rudolph when I was very small, and the images the song evoked were always a part of early sixties Christmases.

I always sat in our den in Louisiana and imagined a foggy North Pole Christmas Eve and the days leading up to Christmas were always the best days.

Veronica Mars on iTunes

I've long wondered considering its key demographic, why Veronica Mars wasn't on iTunes. At last it is and it's download worthy for sure.

For some reason my dish provider doesn't include The CW, nee the WB and UPN, in the local channels. I watched the final half of season one on DVD then Season 2 completely on DVD.

Looks like I won't have to wait that long for Veronica’s freshman year at Neptune U.

No, I ain't in Veronica's target market per se, but I am a private eye fan and Veronica Mars is one of the best private eye shows since Rockford. Seasons 1 and 2 have fabulous year-long mystery arcs solved along with her PI dad, Enrico Colantoni. That's reason 1 to watch.

How Veronica Mars is like Bullwinkle
Bullwinkle used to include asides and jokes for the folks that kids wouldn't get. Veronica and her pals are some of the most pop-culturally literate kids ever. Moreso than a lot of twentysomethings I know. No way would they know some of the song and movie references Veronica and her pals drop periodically. But they make for great dialog.

How Veronica Mars is like Agatha Christie
OK, every episode is not as clever as Dame Agatha's, but there are occasions when VM solves some capsule mysteries for her friends that are clue-laden and clever.

I haven't made it through the first mini-arc of season 3 on my iPod, but so far it's still intriguing if unfortunate that the long mysteries had to be abandoned in an attempt to build ratings.

Sadly as one of the best of the best on TV these days, Veronica may be one of the shows that asks too much of a commitment. I predict it will someday prosper in reruns and perhaps online though it may not be an Aquaman.

Download one episode and see if you can stop there!

My Christmas Playlist

Psychologists will tell you that as your life marches along, family members pass away and the Christmas Seasons in memory start becoming your own personal ancient history, it's important to establish new Christmas traditions.

One of my personal traditions is my Christmas playlist, which I wrote about here last year. I'm getting old. I repeat myself.

I started it back in 2000 when I was immersed in a big project at work. Having holiday tunes playing in my office kept things from getting gloomy.

Always a part of my Christmas playlist is John Altenburgh's Christmas at Buzz's Restaurant, which is now available on iTunes. I don't think it was last Christmas. The iTunes summary is accurate. It features Jazzy versions of many traditional songs as well as some fun originals.

The title track is a warm, sentimental perennial for me at Christmas. I don't know if there ever was a Buzz's in Keelerville, WI, but the lyrics evoke a feeling of nostalgia for Christmas pasts that seems real and connects me with my own long ago memories.

Here's my complete playlist for this year, assembled from my album collection, free downloads and digital purchases:

1. Silent Night - John Altenburgh - Christmas at Buzz's Restaurant
2. Nollaig Na Mban - Cormac Breatnach - Celtic Christmas
3. 7 O'Clock News/Silent Night - Simon and Garfunkle - Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme
4. Christmas Time Is Here - Vince Guaraldi - A Charlie Brown Christmas
5. Christmas at Buzz's Restaurant - John Altenburgh - Christmas at Buzz's Restaurant
6. In the Bleak Midwinter - Allison Crowe - Tidings
7. Better Days - The Goo Goo Dolls
8. King Holly, King Oak - Johnny Cunningham - Celtic Christmas
9. Jingle Bells - Diana Krall & The Clayton-Hamilton Jazz Orchestra - Christmas Songs
10. Jingle Bells - James Taylor - James Taylor at Christmas (It was free last week and this version and the Diana Crall version offer wildly different interpretations of the tune.)
11. Christmas Story - John Altenburgh - Christmas at Buzz's Restaurant
12. All I Want for Christmas is You (So So Def Remix) Mariah Carey featuring JD & Lil' Bow Wow - All I Want for Christmas (You gotta mix things up)
13. Little Drummer Boy - Johnny Cash - The Christmas Album
14. Snow On High Ground - Nightnoise - Celtic Christmas
15. Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy- Bing Crosby & David Bowie - Bing Crosby - Christmas Classics (I know, I know, !?. It's from, I believe Crosby's last Christmas TV special, sentimental for me because I remember watching with my family back in the day. The 4 minute version includes the lead-in.)

If you have Christmas favorites, please share.