I got cut from jury duty today. I don't know how it is where you live, but I always find it a bit grueling, kind of like a cattle call.
But I go in the interest of my civic duty, and you know, to avoid a bench warrant. I had a call to be an extra for a period film, so I had to turn that down for the privilege of being a part of the judicial process.
I'm not sure what the costume would have looked like, but I'm pretty sure it would've been a dress given that men didn't discover pants until like the 16th century, right?
A dress in 40-degree weather vs. cattle call.
OK, maybe I got the better end of the stick this time.
"Please know we all appreciate your showing up for service," they announced in court. "Don't go to the bathrooms or the vending machines while the judge is on the bench."
So I'm sitting there, working my way through the three-hundred-forties of The Historian, and they say well we need danged near everybody that showed up today so settle in.
My heart sank.
Then after a while they came back and said well good news, 78 people are going to get to go home.
So they call a pool of 22 and I'm not mentioned. Whew.
Then another 22.
Then a pool of 42. I'm not one of names 1-41.
Then they drag out the forty-second name, but it's not me. Yippiee!
But No. 42's not there.
I'm thinking - "Issue a bench warrant. There are some guys in uniform outside just waiting to go look for somebody."
But they just tell us stay put.
In The Historian the hero was taking particular interest in the name Ivireanu. The reason? It's a long story.
Finally they come back and announce: "The judge can live with 41."
Apparently generating another random name would have taken a court order or something.
Sometimes, I'm here to tell you, red tape is a good thing. Lunch time!