I resolve to achieve an annoying level of slow. I've tried to be nice in the past and nobody's been considerate of me in return, so things are gonna change.
- I will talk on my cell phone in the car, ignoring all others. I will cause people to miss lights while I drag under a yellow. I will bring traffic to a crawl as I babble about nothing.
- I will take as much time as I want at the fast food drink fountains, filling my cup slowly with ice then slowly with a drink. And then I will take plenty of time selecting an affixing a plastic lid.
- Ignoring the various opportunities to plan in advance--newspapers, phone, web--I will hover outside the theater box office deciding on the movie I want to see before purchasing a ticket while others wait.
- Ditto cafeteria lines.
- I'll be waddling in department stores and parking my buggy in front of the canned goods you want to browse at the super market.