Thursday, December 08, 2005

Some gifts just shouldn't exist

You know, some gifts should not exist. They're just out there as presents for those people for whom you don't know what to buy. They're destined to be re-gifted or bound someday for a landfill.

It's not an oasis, it's a mirage
Just about all chotzkies from the corporate world qualify, but department stores are filled with items as well. You know that table that looks like a gift oasis in the men's department amid all the sweaters and neck ties with the Three Wise Men on them?

Sum of the parts
Get a sweater or a nice tie. Trust me, no one has ever accomplished a successful repair with a tool found in a flashlight handle. I have a flashlight and I have a screwdriver that I bought for myself, and both are better than any combination of the two.

I also don't need a singing or talking (fill in the animal, fish or reptile here).

No monopurpose cooking either
And I have a kitchen. I have a means to prepare a hotdog. Ditto a hamburger, popcorn and anything else. Any grill or cooker sold to prepare only one food item is pretty much headed to Good Will.

If I don't take it myself, it'll be delivered, still in its original packaging, by whoever cleans out my stuff after my demise.

4 comments:

Homo Insapiens said...

Where is your Christmas spirit? I thought the 18" by 9" table-top air hockey game and the battery-operated, backlit, day planner/tie rack were just perfect.

Regards

Sidney said...

Ah, you're right. No home should be without those.

Cliff said...

Do you remember the Ronco Egg Scrambler? It was a pedestal with a bent wire... you pushed the egg on the pedestal, forcing the wire inside the egg, then pushed a button that spun the wire and "scrambled" the egg while still inside the egg.

Sidney said...

I don't know how I missed that one, because I saw tons and tons of Ronco ads as a kid, but I don't recall that one. I do recall a bottle cutter from Ronco and various bead products and of course the Fishin' Magician.

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