Friday, October 19, 2007

Office Party

So we go into Boss's Day overdrive - lunch, gift, movie.

The gift was a boxed set of "The Office" because my boss is a little obsessed. Ironically the whole event turned into an episode of "The Office."

The e-mails from the planning committee came around - "We're going to see The Heartbreak Kid."

"Hmm," I thought. "We're taking our 70-year-old secretary to a Farrelly Brothers movie?" Everybody else may have stayed home to play Halo 3, but we weren't having any of that.

So we go and we sit through it, a clump of marketing people and ironically an audience of retired octogenarians who I suspect hit all the movies.

And if you stayed home for Halo 3, it's a FARRELLY BROTHERS movie. Now I write novels with the f word, so I'm not easily offended, but evidently if the lights had been up I would have seen all of the twentysomethings blushing from:

  • The piledriver sex scenes
  • References to body-hair shaving or the lack thereof
  • Visual representation of the lack of body hair shaving
  • Allusions to bestiality
  • Allusions to hand jobs
  • Etc.

"What did you think of that?" they apparently asked the boss after it was over. I think they were a bit aghast.

"Well it's a Farrelly Brothers movie," he told them.

"A what?"

"The guys who directed Dumb and Dumber. They kind of have a reputation for being raunchy."

So anyway later, I'm back at the office and they pull me aside.

"What did you think of the movie?"

"It was a little long like Wedding Crashers..."

"No, you know, about how... you know."

"Well it was a Farrelly Brothers movie so..."

"The boss said that too. You knew it was going to raunchy?"

"Well, I made the assumption..."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't know you didn't know it was a Farrelly Brothers movie. You know like Dumb and Dumber, What About Mary. They have kind of a reputation for being raunchy."

Someone made a sweeping gesture of a hand over bangs. That produced some nods of remembrance.

The Reviews Are IN
The thank you e-mail from the boss the next day expressed appreciation. "But since this year everyone went all out, don't feel like you need to do as much next year!"

I.E. Let's not take the 70-year-old secretary to a movie that probably narrowly skirted an NC-17 again.

Her take was a little more jovial. "I told my daughter I saw that movie," she said. "Then I went home and repented."


Charles Gramlich said...

I love the ending line. Great character dialogue there. The boss's email was also classic.

RK Sterling said...


Stewart Sternberg (half of L.P. Styles) said...

Great!!! You know, I went to see "Superbad". When it got to the scene where one of the protagonists shared information that he used to be obsessed with drawing penises, I looked around at the responses on the faces on the audience and it was priceless; a beautiful mixture of discomfort and hilarity.

When the film ended and my friend and I were walking out of the theater I turned to my friend and said: "You know, I used to..."

"Stop," he admonished me.

"No, I used to draw..."


Erik Donald France said...

Haha ;) Another one of those office shows that provided endless amusement was Are You Being Served?. Classic, especially the early years.

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